No matter what
by Nikki-Vixen
Summary: Oneshot: Jessie does some late night thinking about why her relationship with James is the way it is... Shippy!


Disclaimer: Jessie, James, Meowth and Pokemon in general really, all belong to Nintendo. I'm not making money or anything otherwise I'd buy myself Microsoft word and do it properly :P

--

Jessie glanced across the campsite to the sleeping form that was her partner, James. The campfire was all but nearly gone, but it's flickering light still cast shadow over the young mans body as he lay on top of his sleeping bag in the brisk night. She smiled. His arms folded behind his head as he slumbered with only a look of pure innocence. ' I bet he's dreaming about food' she chuckled inside her head. The thought caused her to smile. He was too pure to be bad. Who was he kidding?

She pondered for a moment why the angelic figure had even joined team rocket in the first place.

Knowing him from childhood, she knew he'd always had the best intentions when they were in school. That said, she also knew he'd suffered many a time at the hands of the bullies that tormented him when she hadn't been around. The memory made her smile turn to a frown.

"Assholes" she whispered.

The image of the younger James standing in her doorway at campus, with tears in his eyes, beaten black and blue made her mentally wince. She'd hated seeing him like that. One time as she recalled, he had been beaten so bad that at the sight of him, she had simply slammed her door shut in his face. Unable to bear looking at him.

"Hmm..I guess that's when I really start to be firm with him" she silently whispered to herself. "I told him he was pathetic...but really...it just hurt too much to look at him"

She rolled onto her back and gazed at the stars. It seemed recently she had opened some old wounds and found herself feeling finally able to call upon these memories to deal with them.

She sighed.

"James...you scared me" her voice never raised to audible level. Even though both of her partners were asleep, she never wanted to be foolish enough to under estimate Meowth's sneakiness. He could be awake and just faking, who knows? "What was I supposed to do? We were 14. I just didn't know how to make it stop"

She looked at him again and he sighed in his sleep. Sitting up, to get a better look at him, she suddenly felt overwhelmed with quilt. An unexplainable desire to explain herself seemed to be getting the better of her. She just wanted to lay next to him, gently wake him and blurt out the whole terrible truth. Why she had turned on him, why she was so frightened... and to ask him why he was even here...

But she stayed glued to the floor. Hugging her legs and resting her chin on the top of her knees.

"I thought if I toughened you up they'd stop. I didn't think it'd end up like...like this" she paused. Remembering how much she'd done to him over the years. How much he'd taken before eventually they'd fallen out. "How...did that happen? Was, it really me who did that?" she struggled to recall what had actually happened, but she remembered standing in front of the bike gang and pointing at him while yelling out his flaws. The hurt in his eyes was far greater than all the times he'd stood beaten outside of her door.

"I thought... But...uh...Jess?" he stuttered so confused, so hurt. Her heart had shattered in that moment. His unarticulated response had snapped her out of her outrage and made her feel like the most despicable human in the World. "...I'm sorry" he whispered. Her young eyes shut and she stormed past him, pushing him out of her way.

"Oh James! You will NEVER be a man!" she had snapped.

Jessie blinked. She hadn't realized she'd been staring so intensely. Tears stung the bottom of her eyes as she picked up a small twig and began to draw circles in the soft, crumbled, mud. "You made me realize I didn't like what I was...but I couldn't stop. I had to get away from you"

She remembered she was packing her bags when he came to her dorm room. Sheepishly knocking on her door, then letting himself in, bringing a small rose with him. He came face to face with her but stared only at the rose in his hand...

"I know, I'm not...exactly the bucthest guy here. But I-I...well,-" he paused and lifted her hand, placing the rose in and holding his hand around hers to make sure she cupped it. "- I've never, had a friend like you -"

"James stop it!" She had interrupted, but his gaze had remained on the rose as he tried to continue with what he was saying.

"-Your amazing. And, I think...I think that I-" he was interrupted again as she slapped him, hard.

The shock made him let go of the rose and it fell to the floor, losing most of it's petals along he way. Breathing heavily, as though it had taken all of her energy to slap him, she frowned.

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare say that you love me! Y-you don't know what love is James! You can't love me, because your too weak! You only think you love me because I protect you against people who pick on you for being a wimp! Well, I won't make the mistake of doing that for you anymore! You need to grow a backbone and grow up! Y-you...I...I could never love you! Because you will never be nothing more than just a little lost boy!" her mouthful had left her even more breathless. He had stood there... Eyes glazed with tears.

It had felt like an eternity before he had slowly backed away and as though in a trance left her room. She'd slammed the door shut as he left and then broke into tears on the other side.

Jessie let a tear slide down her face, but quickly wiped it away.

"Being so young and idealistic...I was brutal. You went away after that. So did I... We didn't have any contact after that." she concluded. Looking at the doodle she'd made on the floor, she saw a chibified, smiling, James face. She allowed herself a half smile. "...But you came back. Your the only one who ever came back"

She lifted her head and saw him shiver in his sleep. Finally having an excuse to make physical contact with him she rose from her thinking spot and ravaged through his stuff to find his blue blanket. After pulling out what seemed like half of their supplies she finally found the item and gracefully laid it over him.

He blinked sleepily awake and she gave him a devilish smirk. He smiled back and closed his eyes again.

Knowing it was safe. She sat beside him and poked his tummy a couple of times, just for the mere amusement of it. He didn't stir again. Though this made her wonder how he'd been woken up by her placing a blanket around him, but not by her poking him, she let out a nearly silent giggle and then stretched herself out to gaze at the stars again.

"You know...your a poor excuse for a villain" she half laughed. "But you know? I'm...proud of you"

She rubbed his belly now, as though giving him a pat on the back for doing good.

"I know I don't tell you often enough... In fact, I probably don't tell you at all...but I'm really glad your here"

She looked at his face. He still wore that innocent 'dreaming about food' expression and that made her feel warm inside.

"The only one..." she simply stated. Then she pointed up at the stars. "I think...there are as many stars as there are people. And, you meet a lot of them. But there's always one star that shines the brightest. One star that never fades and sometimes at night when it's misty and you feel like you can't see any stars at all, there's still that one...like, it's shining for you" she didn't know why she'd felt the need to say all of that, or for that matter, what her point was. Was she saying she thought of him as her shining star? Or was she his?

She lowered her hand and frowned. She had told him, slapped him even for trying to say it...to say what she wanted so much to hear. It seemed that desire had only grown more now they had been reunited in Team Rocket. She thought about all their adventures and their mishaps, how she had felt so close to him and yearned to be closer to him. She leaned over and boldly kissed his forehead.

"I don't suppose you could ever love me now. But...I can't stop myself sometimes. Maybe sometimes people can't see it but, I don't think there could possibly any other man for me than you." she whispered as she pulled away from his body. "You are my shining star."

Feeling as emotionally drained as physically, she retired to her own sleeping bag. Rolling onto her side so that the last thing she would see before she closed to eyes to let slumber in, would be him.

--

James woke up at about the same time everyday. Noting his blanket was wrapped snuggly around him, he knew Jessie must have been up late. After all, Meowth would never do that. He smiled to himself and rose from his 'bed'.

Stretching and looking at the rising sun he glanced over to a nearby rose bush and decided to pick a couple for later use.

As he did so he heard his female companion sigh in her sleep. The rising sun glowed gently on her stunning features and he found himself in awe just looking at her, like he did most mornings.

"Ah Jessica. Your heart is like this rose. Beautiful and sweet, yet wrapped in thorns. But I know, that without your thorns you feel unprotected and vulnerable." he walked quietly towards her and knelt beside her face. "...But someday. Someday I will be those thorns. And I will be the one who protects you"

He paused and ran the back of his bare hand slowly and softly down the side of her face.

"And I know you will be just as sweet as you have always been. I know you still are that Jessie who used to shelter me. I know that you still kiss my forehead every night before you fall asleep. I know that you sit every night and look to the moon for forgiveness for all the things you have done and said to me over the years. But I also know that you were just trying to help me grow..." he stopped again and kissed her forehead gently. "And...I will do what ever it takes to be that man you want me to be. I'll catch that Pikachu for you if that's what it takes. I'll catch a hundred Pokemon for you. I can't stop loving you Jessie...and I will wait forever for that day that I can finally tell you that" He rose to his feet and smiled down at her as she lay asleep.

"No matter how long...no matter what it takes. I promise, I will never leave you."

--

Haha! A oneshot and it's COMPLETE! Omg! lol. It's kind of poopy, so sorry about that, but it's late, I should be in bed but I wanted to write and this is what came out. Anyway, it's been a while so please still review me but no flames please :)

Yay for rocketshipping! It's still all up in the air but hey, I don't think I'm too good at doing the sappy romantic scenes. Haha, then again what more hurt could it do? I already completely made them completely OOC so ho-hum!

Nikki-vixen


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